Chapter Two: Farewell

We both had intentions of meeting each other’s families but the timing just wasn’t right. His family was upset because of his pending divorce and my family believed I was the dumbest girl in the world. So we decided to spend our last weekend together without worrying about them.

I couldn’t help but spend every second I could with him. I loved to be around him. I needed to be around him. I felt whole and complete when I was with him. The more time we spent together, the more I could see myself having a family and growing old together. Not only was he my best friend, he was also my lover. I’m sprung at this point. All I see is him. His charming good looks and intoxicating scent were enough to make me do things I would never imagine doing.

The day had come for him to leave and I felt like I was losing a piece of me. We had gotten so close so soon and spent every day together. While in the car, we sat for twenty minutes or so discussing the future, potential duty stations, marriage, kids, and all the things that our big hearts desired. We were going to conquer the world. We gave our farewell kisses and I cried my eyes all the way back to my parent’s house.

Throughout the next couple of months, we exchanged love letters back and forth. I stalked the mailman outside anticipating my letters as I felt they gave me life. I would read my letters in my bed as I snuggled the teddy bear he got me that I doused in his cologne. “I can’t wait to start our chapter together as husband and wife. To think our little girl will be running around the house and we will be so in love. I can’t wait to make you smile every day and treat you like a queen. You will only have tears of joy my love” his letters would say. “I love you and I can’t wait to spend my life with you”.

Most of the letters were sweet and loving in nature but one or two of them showed a side of him I had never seen before. A jealous side. Within one letter, he expressed how he didn’t like my job and all the guys that would stare at me and how it was creating negative attention. “If you are going to be my wife, you don’t have to work there. You should focus on school and becoming a wife”. Also, I’m not comfortable with you partying with your friends. I am starting a new chapter in the military and if you are going to start with me, things need to change, or you can continue to live that life without me.

At this point, I’m in too deep. I can’t see myself without him. “I’ll leave my job and I’ll stop going out with my friends to prove to you that I love you”. He replied in the next letter, “Good, I just want to focus on us and our love” which I hesitantly agreed with. How was I going to tell my friends that this man I had talked to on a serious level for two months said I couldn’t hang out with the girls anymore, and that I needed to quit my job as well? Well we can still go out, we just can’t go partying. He also said he would provide for me so I could focus on school which my education is very important to me so there.

It was time for graduation and I had bought my ticket to see him graduate basic training in South Carolina. A few days before his graduation, I got a call from my love. My heart was beating rapidly when I read his name on my phone. “Baby, I’m so thankful I get to hear your voice!" I stated. “You can’t come”, he replied. “Wait what?”. “I said you can’t come” he stated. “WTF you mean I can’t come?! I spent 500 dollars on this trip to see you hun. Why not?” He stated his mother did not feel comfortable with me going so I wasn’t allowed to be there. He then stated he had to get off the phone and that he was so sorry. I began to cry and went to my car to sob. Not only did I get bad news but now I can’t see my boyfriend or watch him graduate. Not to mention, I did not have insurance on my flight so I lost that money which sucked. I worked hard for that.

He had sent me photos from his graduation and stated that he loved me but we barely talked with each other around that time because he was always with his mother. It was the first time we argued over the phone because I was hurt that not only was I not allowed to go on such short notice but I barely got to hear from him while he was there. He was either tired or out spending time with his family.

The next day he asked me if I could look something up for him on his Facebook since I had the login for it, so I did. While I was on his account, I saw a message from his mother asking where he and his soon-to-be ex-wife were going to have dinner. I literally shat out my heart.   Well, now this all makes sense why I couldn’t come. He was with her and was playing me all along. “You stupid idiot,” I thought to myself. My parents were right about him. I called him immediately and confronted him about the message from his mother and asked him if his wife was with him. He initially said yes and no. As I continued to cry, he said that his mother invited her and wanted them to try to work things out. He told me that he told her it was over and he was going through with the divorce. She did not want to move with him and follow him and his career and she had a good-paying job back home. He told me he did not want her here and did not plan this but while she was there, he might as well get it over with. He also stated they were not sleeping in the same room. I told him that I didn’t believe him and that he lied to me. He reiterated to me that I was the love of his life and that he did not want anything to do with her. He still needed closure and he might as well seize the opportunity while she was there. I told him moving forward, he needed to be transparent with me as I couldn’t handle secrets. We both said I love you and I told him to keep in touch.

Later that day, he called me and apologized for everything that happened. He then promised me we would see each other soon as he just left Basic for AIT. I told him I couldn’t wait to see him and I wanted to hear from him as much as I could. “Calm down love, everything is going to be okay and we will be in each other’s arms again. I love you, my queen. We are one step closer to the future we want”, he softly stated over the phone with a raspy voice. (I’m all in at this point. S O L D!). I was calm and feeling his love through the phone. I began to plan my trip to see him the following month.