Docket Numbers

I would’ve never imagined in a million years that I would be involved in a family matter, a protection from abuse matter, and a criminal matter all in one year. What the hell is happening in my world? As this year comes to an end, I try to recap all the bullshit that I have been through and boy I tell you, what a mess. I am a living, walking mess but a cute one most days.

The holiday’s just passed and I barely made it. Gambling which bills to pay, playing Santa while I’m ho, ho, ho, broke! At least my kids were happy and that’s all that mattered to me Christmas morning. That was the first Christmas post-divorce. It was empowering and depressing at the same time. Look, I made it to Christmas. I put the tree up by myself, I got the presents wrapped by myself. You unwrap those presents kids that this boss lady did all by herself!

Yet, despite all of this, I miss him and this hurts because I miss the idea of the man I made up in my mind. The sweet, charismatic, charming, dashingly good-looking man I married who is sweet and sensual towards me with a sprinkle of bad temper.  Not the monster that would make fun of my feet as I tried on my UGG slippers last Christmas. Or the one who punched me in the face prior to taking our Christmas photos because I wanted my hair a certain way and wasn’t listening.

I started the year 2023, married, in a household with a husband, wife, and children. We looked beautiful, we looked happy. We were not. We were falling apart privately in our marital bedroom. Where love met abuse. He was too calculated to physically hurt me in front of the kids but made a habit of badmouthing me in front of the children which they thought was funny collectively.

Here I am now, navigating all of my emotions, feelings, etc. post-divorce. To think that since we are no longer married, I wouldn’t have to deal with his abuse. HAH! The post-separation abuse is real. It is a constant mind game to try to maintain my sanity because I am in for it and this man is relentless in trying to make me feel like I made the biggest mistake of my life.

Oh, but I didn’t sweetheart. This is my story. Moving forward, I plan on sharing my story through chapter's of my love life up until this very moment and on.

This is Chapter One: PVD